Strong Opinions Loosely Held - 2025

Back in 2021, I wrote a post on Strong Opinions, Loosely Held. This is a follow-up to that, an extended version. I’m a bit wiser now, but there’s still a lot to learn!

1. On People

The last four years feel like a decade compressed. I’ve met countless people in this period. Some inspiring and with good intentions, others absolutely terrible. Looking ahead, I want to be more intentional about who I keep close. Thankfully, with decades of hard-earned savings and some independence, I can now choose my circle carefully. Here are the qualities that matter most to me (feel free to define your own markers):

• Digital footprint honesty: YouTube, Spotify, Netflix history says more about a person than their words. You can fake conversations, but not how you spend your alone time. Privacy matters, of course, but I’d rely on this much more over surface-level conversations.
• Team sports background: Winning in sports teaches discipline, character, and ethics. You can’t fake those traits on the field.
• Authenticity: I want to stay away from people who constantly shift accents, personas, or chase validation through likes and power plays.
• Patience and comfort with boredom: Everything worthwhile has trade-offs. If you can’t endure boredom or delay gratification, it’s hard to build anything meaningful, including your own character.
• Long-term friendships: I’m grateful for the friends who’ve stuck around for a decade or more.

2. On Mental Health

If someone finds joy in another’s misery, or is obsessed with power without empathy, something is broken at their core. Often, the answers lie in their childhood. A child who is constantly shut down or excessively appeased may grow into an adult struggling with identity, sometimes developing Narcissism Personality Discorder (the urge to feel superior and much more), Boderline Personality Disorders, or bipolar traits. I read about this for a few weeks and this area is absolutely fascinating. Unreal in some sense.

Meeting such people often feels like meeting a “non-person.” Around others, they wear a mask. Alone, they’re something else entirely. Someone terrified of facing the undeveloped inner child they’re still protecting. To survive, they create a false identity and shield it fiercely, rejecting any criticism that threatens it. Even in London recently, many cab drivers spoke about their children struggling with mental health conditions such as ADHD or other conditions. Despite special schools, the demand far outpaces supply. Parents are left exhausted, fighting for limited opportunities. This reinforced for me how much mental health is both personal and systemic. These two graphs support the observation. One in every six individuals globally suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The prevalence is definitely higher in India, given the gaps in parenting awareness and socio-economic challenges that contribute to poor upbringing. It can take nearly a decade of therapy to overcome such issues.

3. On Travel

I barely traveled in the last four years, and my recent London trip reminded me what I’ve been missing. Not for Instagram, but for the sheer learning travel brings. The calm of mountains, the openness of oceans, the cultural contrasts. The experience is very humbling. In London, strangers stopped to help me multiple times without any hesitation. Conversations with Uber drivers were among the best insights I had. From football clubs to local quirks.

4. On Growth

Everything today is packaged as “growth”. Joining a startup, attending Vipassana course, cleaning beaches, giving talks at Toastmasters. They’re all valid, but the real question is: Do you really want it? Desires are often memetic. We want things because others want them. That’s how we get trapped in status and ego games. If you’re not clear on what you want, you’ll keep chasing what belongs to others. If you are one of them, best of luck!

5. On Boredom

My view hasn’t changed since 2021: success is usually hidden in the boring basics everyone avoids. Watch this video for inspiration.

6. On Self-Reliance

Going forward, I want to cut most dependencies. Cooking and driving are highest on the list. I’ve started with the basics such as making tea first. Yeah, it is simple, but still a marker of progress. I’ve resisted driving partly because I believe autonomous cars will take over in the next decade, and partly because I love speed in every aspect of life. Still, self-reliance in commuting is worth pursuing

7. On Presentation

This is the area I’ve neglected the most. Presentation matters, but not without substance, ethics, character, and competence. How you carry yourself does make a difference. That’s why this pointer is the last on my list, but not the least. Time to finally invest in it.

Note: I will keep expanding this list.